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"It’s not that people can’t love you if you don’t love yourself. It’s that you won’t feel it because it’ll always seem like you don’t deserve it." - But It’s Not a Matter of Deserving (#53: January 11, 2014)

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14 episodes of nurse jackie later


fecloras:

Classic Mary
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Anonymous
"Instead of shaming boys for biological urges that would be impossible to suppress without castration, and instead of trying to destroy the psyches of boys by suggesting these normal urges are abnormal, teach girls that what they wear will impact whether boys are distracted by girls." – I used to be like you. Then I got my doctorate in human sexuality. Although I don't have testicles myself, I found out that boys CAN'T leave them in their lockers. More girls need to be TAUGHT this information!

Okay, I see your point, and while I don’t have a “doctorate in human sexuality” like you claim to have - not calling you a liar, but I don’t know how true that is considering you’re anonymous. Let me start off by saying girls (teenage especially, but young or old - it doesn’t matter) have raging hormones too, normal human urges, right? Even though girls are horny, you don’t typically see a girl cat-calling a guy because he’s wearing a v-neck. Or, my favorite example: you don’t typically see a school board telling a guy he can’t wear something seemingly harmless because it will attract sexual attention.

When was the last time your principal told a guy to cover up his shoulders (like, shoulders??? really??) because it’s “inappropriate”? When was the last time a guy was told, “Damn, you better cover up or you’ll be asking for it”? As teens, some of us are horny, yeah, and we’re all turned on by different things. Some guys are turned on by feet. Does that mean we should ban the wearing of sandals in school? Some girls are super turned on by long hair. Does that mean we should insist everybody get a buzz cut or wear a hat?

Instead, how about we reinforce that while it is okay to feel natural sexual urges, it is not okay to act on/blame acting on these sexual urges because of what the person is wearing. You should be able to control it; that’s just human decency and not acting like an animal. Nobody should be treated as a sex object.

While boys “can’t leave their testicles in their lockers”, girls can’t shove their sexual urges in one either. We, as a society, should be encouraging the idea that nobody is a sexual object; boys, girls, teens, adults, and regardless of what your sexuality is or what you identify as. PSA: I didn’t mean for this to be considered as a strictly hetero/cis problem, because it’s definitely prevalent among all sexualities, I was just responding to the question in the context i felt they were talking about. :o)

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"Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen." - Sylvia Plath  (via missharleyy)